So I was up at 7:00 and in line at the Pilgrim’s office at 7:30 with maybe 5o people in front of me.
They also had come the night before and decided to return because the line was so long. First thing I did was invite them to join me for lunch at the Parador after the noon Pilgrim’s mass at the Cathedral which they gladly accepted.
The Compostela is the modern equivalent of the Cartas Probatorias which were first issued by the Papal authorities in the 13th Century as the accreditation of the completion of the Pilgrimage to the Tomb of St James. Today the Compostela is issued by the Officina de Acogida de Peregrino (Pilgrim’s Office) under the authority of the Chapter of the Metropolitan Church of Santiago. The award of the “Compostela” is limited to those who come to the tomb of the St James for religious and/or spiritual reasons.
To get the “Compostela” you must:
• Make the pilgrimage for religious or spiritual reasons, or at least an attitude of search.
• Do the last 100 km on foot or horseback, or the last 200 km by bicycle.
• You must collect the stamps on the “Credencial del Peregrino” from the places you pass through to certify that you have been there. You have to stamp the Credencial twice a day at least on the last 100 km (for pilgrims on foot or on horseback) or on the last 200 km (for cyclists pilgrims).
In contrast to the spiritual journey I had just completed, my visit to the Pilgrims Office was neither a religious nor spiritual experience. It’s very much like going to the Department of Motor Vehicles to pay registration fees or a fine for your car. 1500 Pilgrims a day are arriving in Santiago this month. The place is open from 8:00 am until 9:00 pm and the wait is often 2 hours or more.
There are a dozen or more clerks each with a numbered stall and an electronic sign board flashes the number of the next open stall. 
If you meet all the requirements you receive a personalized Compostela with your name in Latin. If your Pilgrimage was for other reasons, health, exercise, recreation, adventure etc then a different type of document accrediting the completion is issued in your given name.
For some reason, I was expecting to be quizzed by a religious authority about the nature of my journey but it’s just a clerk and you just check either the religious box or the spiritual box and you are done in that regard. Everyone wants the fancy Latin certificate and I didn’t see or hear of anyone who checked “other.”
They do; however, ask you where your Pilgrimage began and whether it was on foot, horse or bicycle.
I proudly told the clerk in what I thought was my best Castilian Spanish that I had walked 240 kilometers over 9 days from Sahagun to O’cebreiro, traveled on horseback for 100 kilometers over 4 days from O’cebreiro to Arzua and walked the final 40 kilometers (actually it was 43 with the missteps) the final two stages in a single day from Arzua to Santiago.
I thought there was a communication problem when he asked me again about the details of my Pilgrimage. Maybe my morning Spanish isn’t as good as I thought so I carefully repeated what I had told him emphasizing proudly that I walked the last 2 stages a total over 40 kms in a single day. I thought he would be impressed but rather than impressed he appeared concerned. He got up from his chair and went off to consult with his supervisor. I saw them huddling in the back of the room and then the both of them came over to me. Suddenly things didn’t look good. What was going on? Compostelas were promptly being issued left and right with no questions being asked and, although it certainly wasn’t for me to judge, even to people who I thought had no religious or spiritual purpose and even to one who I doubted had even completed the journey.
The supervisor came over and then asked me again about where I had started and how I had traveled by foot or horseback. So for the third time that morning I repeated in my best Castilian Spanish that I had done 240 kilometers on foot from Sahagun over 9 days, rode a horse 100 kms over 4 days from O’cebreiro and walked the last two stages 40 kms in a single day from Arzua to the finish line in Santiago. I was starting to think they didn’t believe me. No one on either side of me was receiving this type of interrogation. My favorite Camino companions had all already received their Compostelas and we’re waiting for me outside and then with a dry and quite direct admonishment the supervisor looked at me sternly and said, “próxima vez que ud hace el Camino tiene que hacer los últimos 100 kms a pie o en caballo pero no los puede combinar.”
(The next time you do the Camino you have to do the last 100 kms either on foot or horseback but not a combination).
At which point he walked off and the clerk placed the final stamp on my Credencial de Peregrino and prepared my Compostela. He wrote my name in Latin as Geofridium. Weird? I always thought it was Geofricus but I wasn’t going to debate the point.
I grabbed my Compostela before they had a chance to change their minds, paid an extra 3 euros for the distance certificate (379 kms), 
The service at the Cathedral that I attended, in contrast to the visit to the Pilgrim’s Office, was truly a moving experience. The Cathedral is huge, the largest Romanesque church in Spain, filed with hundreds of people from all over the world, speaking many languages, many devout Catholics standing kneeling and repeating liturgy on cue and many more of diverse religions and faiths like me observing respectfully many with tears in their eyes. The service like the Cathedral was beautiful.
And then it was time for a celebratory lunch with my favorite Camino companions at the fancy restaurant at the Parador. We had every appetizer on the menu, several bottles of wine and all the day’s specials. It was great. And then for an extra special treat we had dessert, coffee and brandy in the museum which doubles as a courtyard in the private area of the Parador. They all had so much fun and were so appreciative and I felt great knowing that Cary would approve so whole heartedly of hosting these youngsters in this way.
I think that maybe one day when they are my age in the year 2050 or thereabout they will look back and think of me (and Cary) and the meal we shared in celebration of our Camino.
So for the question I’m sure you are all asking, did I ever see Cary standing at the door of the Parador with her beautiful smile with that tan leather bag over her shoulder her thumb crooked around the strap and her palm covering the zipper keeping everything in her charge safe and secure?
Honestly, I see her that way whenever I close my eyes.
And with my eyes wide open, I see her in the faces of our children and when I contemplate their love, respect and appreciation for humanity and nature and all of the Lord’s creations.
Many are the wise men, psychologists and counselors who have written articles and books about grief, the grieving process and the stages of grief.
5 stages, 7 stages or 13, they all suggest the process ends at the same place “acceptance.” You accept what happened, put it behind you and move forward with your life.
I don’t think that even after 10,000 stages I’ll ever get to that place. I don’t know if I ever want to get to that place.
Cary guides our family today as she always has, its just harder for me now because she’s not here for me to talk with. I have to think about what decision she would make, what she would suggest would be best for the children and for our family. She is now as much a part of my life and part of who I am as she was for the past 30 years, perhaps more so. She not only remains a part of me but she’s the best part of me.
Would I be more at peace if it were otherwise? I don’t think so.
I’m awe stricken when I look at this picture of the two of us on our first trip to Spain together, on our honeymoon in 1985.
Am I heartbroken that she passed so prematurely? Profoundly so.
Would I rather have lost her prematurely and had the time and life we had together than never to have had that time at all? Well duh.
Did I uncover any profit for myself on the Camino? I believe I did.
Do I think there’s a heaven? Do I think I’ll ever be with Cary again? I do.
G-d bless you always Carebear. You will always be my one and only.
Buen Camino