Episode 8 – Bao Lin’s 90th Birthday Celebration

We were privileged on our last day to attend the 90th birthday celebration of Yan Ping’s father Bao Lin. It was a heartwarming wonderful celebration at an incredible restaurant with fabulous food. In attendance, the family’s closest friends, Bao Lin’s children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and of course there was a beautiful birthday cake.

The more countries I visit and the more people of varied nationalities, ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds that I meet the more certain I am that we are all the same. We are all composed of blood and bones, covered in flesh and granted life through G-d’s grace. We all want to live a dignified life with a sense of purpose, to have peace, stability and security, to touch and be touched by others.

In an earlier blog I commented on the psychologists, counselors and therapists who have written about the grieving process and the stages of grief. Some outline 5 stages, some 7, some 10 but irrespective of the number of stages they all suggest the process ends when you arrive at the final stage, a place they all call “acceptance.” You accept what happened to you, take your loss, leave it behind you and move forward with your life.

I’ve doubted at times if I would ever arrive at that place. Often I felt that I didn’t even want to arrive at that place. I mean why would you want to leave behind something so important to you? The answer is pretty simple really. You don’t have any choice.

So reluctant as I’ve been to reach that destination, I think maybe I have.

But with all due respect to the professionals, I think they should perhaps consider the addition of one final stage, “appreciation.” I now feel the greatest appreciation for the exceptional opportunity I was afforded to build a life with Cary, for the life we built together and for the memories of that life that I will always carry with me.

And perhaps they might consider the addition of one ultimate stage, “anticipation.” I now look forward with the greatest anticipation to every opportunity that life will afford me in the hopefully many many years that lie ahead.

So I suppose time really can heal all wounds. Of course, the greater the wounding the more time the healing may take. The pain is mostly gone once the wound has healed although naturally you are left with a scar. But I think that’s OK because scars give us character.

So my Two Weeks in China and this blog are coming to an end. Thank you to all who joined me on the journey. Writing this blog like life itself wouldn’t mean much without friends and family to share it and I’m blessed with both.

Thank you Yan Ping. You are a wonderful guide, host and friend. It was an awesome amazing adventure.

I had a great time. I’m headed home.